


Deep Water

by Roses_Pens_and_Coffee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Legilimens Albus, Song fic, Suicide Attempt, can be romantic or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 08:25:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18133313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roses_Pens_and_Coffee/pseuds/Roses_Pens_and_Coffee
Summary: As a Legilimens Albus can see into people's minds, hear their thoughts. He doesn't mean to look, sometimes the thoughts just bleed through to him. Sometimes they are so strong that they reach and latch onto him.He wants the thoughts to stop. He wants to stop drowning. Albus wants to breathe.[Deep Water by American Authors, it's a good song]





	Deep Water

Albus walks toward the sorting hat. All eyes on him, wondering if he would be like his brother and parents. Gryffindors through and through. The thoughts are so loud, nearly drowning out the Sorting Hat

_ It comes and goes in waves _

_ It always runs back but it's never quite the same _

The silence in the Great Hall is deafening. The thoughts are deafening.  _ He’s a Slytherin? No tree has perfect bushels, one of them had to be rotten. _ Albus looks at his brother with all his friends. He looks for reassurance.

_ Well, I think there's something wrong with me _

_ Got nothing to believe, can't you see it on my face _

His thoughts are the most deafening. Albus can hear the hurt clearly in his mind. He can see the nonchalant way James shrugs and acts as if nothing has changed. It hadn’t for  _ him _ , still the popular Gryffindor Quidditch player.

_ I was going for the title, got hit by your tidal wave, uh _

_ Can't stay in the shallows, please tell me I won't wash away _

The Great Hall resumes its usual chatter as the next students get sorted. Albus’ spirits lift a bit when he notices a particularly enthusiastic blond wave him over to the spot next to him. He’s bombarded with congratulations by fellow students the blond, Scorpius Malfoy, introduces to him.

_ When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger _

_ Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water _

_ Take me farther, give me one day longer _

Albus feels a warm sense of belonging with his fellow Slytherin peers. Maybe, just maybe he could survive Hogwarts and the drowning thoughts. As long as he has his friends.

_ Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water _

All seems right for Albus. He still hears some hurtful thoughts but he brushes them off. He has Scorpius and the others to distract him. All seems right, until his third year. When the thoughts became so thick with malice he feels like he can’t breathe sometimes.

_ Ain't even scratched the surface _

_ Thinking I deserve the dream but I don't deserve the hurting _

Don’t be friends with Scorpius. His father had told him this over the Christmas break. He had all sorts of reasons but the one he didn’t say was the loudest Albus could hear.  _ He’s a Malfoy. _

_ I want the flame without the burning _

_ But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is _

He said it as if someone’s name defined them. But didn’t it? His brother was just as successful and popular as their father was. All while Albus was burdened by the expectations of the Potter name. Expectations he was not filling and everyone knew it. They just wouldn’t say it out loud.

_ I was going for the title, got hit by your tidal wave, uh _

Early morning on a Saturday in January, Albus climbs the steps of the Astronomy Tower.

_ Can't stay in the shallows, please tell me I won't wash away _

Crisp morning breeze gently pushes and pulls, beckoning him to join it. His mind is so clear up here, so far away from the thoughts of others. His knuckles turn white as he grips the railing now behind him. Tears sting his eyes as he looks over the edge. Maybe it would be better for them. No son to soil their name. No disappointment.

_ When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger _

_ Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water _

_ Take me farther, give me one day longer _

_ Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water _

The clarity nearly muddles a growing voice in his mind that seems to be calling him. Maybe it was the wind. He just had to let go and join it. Time seems to slow as he leans forward, fingers letting go as he is resigned in his decision.

_ When I'm sinking like a stone _

_ At least I know I'm not alone _

Albus feels a sharp tug on his robes and finds himself laying on the floor of the Astronomy Tower. The cold stone stings his scrapped hands. He looks up in anger but stops when he sees familiar blond hair and the angry hot tears coming from the boy.

_ When I'm sinking like a stone _

_ At least I know I'm not alone _

Albus had never seen Scorpius so angry. He seems so angry that Albus was prepared for a lashing. What he didn't expect the tight hug that follows their little staring contest. Scorpius babbles about so many things that he can't quite make sense of it. Even his thoughts are a mess but Albus can still feel their message. 

_ When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger _

_ Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water _

Scared, hurt, guilty. Scorpius felt all this at the thought of losing him, that it would be his fault for not noticing. Most of all Albus could feel the concern and care that Scorpius was projecting so loudly. How couldn't he have noticed? Albus lets himself be vulnerable and cries along with his best friend.

_ Take me farther, give me one day longer _

_ Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water _

He apologizes for letting the thoughts get to him. For forgetting his friends are there for him. For throwing them away so easily so he could end it. The pair stay there in each others trembling yet strong embrace. Afraid that letting go would mean the end of it all. 

_ When I'm sinking like a stone (deep water) _

_ At least I know I'm not alone _

It took that lowest moment for him to realize something: he had friends who cared for him for just being him. At that moment he decided that he wasn't just a Potter, he was Albus Severus Potter. As long as he had people who cared by his side, he would become even more than his name.

_ It comes and goes in waves _

_ It always runs back but it's never quite the same _


End file.
